Funeral Diner: The Farewell Interview

Funeral Diner was one of my all-time favorite bands. This interview was conducted in 2007, shortly after they broke up. It’s my personal contribution to exploring the history of the band and the ideas behind their amazing music. I was still a teenager when I did this interview, but I tried to come up with some interesting questions that touched on different topics. All questions were answered by their drummer Matthew Bajda alone, and the interview was published in print in my old zine called Tigersuit.

Funeral Diner started in 1998 after the breakup of Nexus 6 and a few other short-lived projects. Matthew, Dan, and Dave were all in Nexus 6 together, as well as the other projects, but didn’t really get anything solid going until Funeral Diner started. There have been a few bass players that have come and gone over the nine years of the band, ending with Ben Steidel; the others were Sean O’Shea, Rob Beckstrom, and Andy Radin. Dan originally sang in the beginning, but decided against it to concentrate more on playing guitar. Phil Benson sang in the beginning but left the band early on. Seth Babb replaced him later and stayed until the end.

Funeral Diner became one of the most important screamo bands in the worldwide DIY community. Why did you break up, and what do you see as the most important thing you achieved in nearly a decade as a band?

This is really my own personal opinion on the matter, so in order to get a more complete explanation you would have to talk to the other guys in the band. I think they would agree firstly in that it seems that the band had run its course. Living in San Francisco is not cheap, so money was an issue when it came to touring. Ben had started a new project that was taking up some time as well. There were also time constraints with jobs and getting time off versus wanting to quit the job and have nothing to come back to after going on tour. No one is going to want to give you your job back if you leave for 4 or more months to go on tour. It takes a lot of dedication to do something like that, and as people get older factors like that come more into play than they used to. During the last few years we had been extensively touring the US, Europe, and even Japan.

What differences did you notice between playing shows in the US, Europe, and Japan? Did you also play autonomous spaces like squats, and what role do those places have in the hardcore community?

Touring the United States is like taking a drive through your own neighborhood; it’s very comfortable. Of course you do not know what to expect with every show, but you take comfort in knowing that when you get up in the morning you are the one in charge of where you are going, you know where the grocery stores are, and you are comfortable in the feeling that you are in your own element of sorts. When touring around in Europe you have less of the feeling of security or being at home. The trade-off is that you do not have to worry as much about how to get to the show or driving the van. You also get the benefits of getting fed dinner and breakfast at almost every show. You are also given a place to sleep after every show. In the US there is not really any guarantee that you will even get a place to sleep after a show. Europe is more like a package vacation tour that elderly people go on, except you play a show every night and there are no old people. Our friends have always driven the tour van around in Europe, which makes things way better. They usually want to get to the next city early as much as we do, since then we can all go out and sightsee together before having to be at the show.

Japan is intense. There is no better word to describe it. There is a lot of long drives in small vans with little space. There is a large language barrier, which makes things a lot more complex. People find it hard to tell you what is going on so they just tell you to wait. It is the kind of touring where you put all your trust into someone else’s hands and believe in them to make it all come together. The big benefit there is that people are so enthusiastic about watching you play. People still stage dive, people still sing along, and people still cry when they watch you play. It is really wonderful, not to mention the heavy use of animated characters or cartoons in everything that you see.

In general we have played anywhere and everywhere: squats, houses, clubs, sheds, bars, living rooms, basements, and backyards. Autonomous places work the best because there the people putting on the show will not lose money, which will better ensure that they can put on more shows in the future. The drawback is that they seem to be more heavily targeted by local law, and tend to get shut down.

How do you feel about the DIY scene and getting older? How do you integrate hardcore punk into your life and stay true to the DIY ethic over time?

The DIY scene is really what you make it. DIY in Europe is different than the United States as well as Japan. People will trash-talk a band in a heartbeat if they think someone has sold out. But who draws the line as to where the sellout point is? As I have grown older and seen bands come and go, Funeral Diner now being one of them, I can say that DIY can be as well planned or as sloppy as the people in the scene want it to be. The truth of the matter is that it is there for the people to enjoy the music rather than for one person to make money. As you get older, you come to realize that there are ways to get larger as a band, but you have to go through the right channels to get to that end. The DIY scene may or may not be one of them. It’s like paying dues. If you put in enough work helping people out in your scene and doing what you can, then if you end up getting big, then there should be no complaints as long as you are not ripping people off. If you try to go to shows and charge horrendous prices for a shirt that costs little to make, then you should be ashamed of what you are doing. In the end you just have to think about the decisions you make and how they will have an effect on other people or what will happen in the future.

One of the great things about the DIY scene is how many bands release records on 7-inch with handmade artwork and packaging, which adds a very personal touch. You also have a lot of great 7-inch splits with amazing bands, but many of these releases are limited. What do you think about the high eBay prices for your records? Do you prefer knowing that your music is shared freely from hand to hand and through the internet rather than being sold for hundreds of dollars on eBay?

I get mixed emotions when I look on eBay. Ones of pride and remorse come to mind. I get excited to know that people want our music so much that they are willing to pay a lot more for something. It makes it seem a lot more special in some way. On the other hand I get bummed out that people do actually pay an arm and a leg to get a record that has been out of print for years.

We have songs that we have for free on the website which are remixes, and we had planned on putting some other songs up for people to have, but have not had the time to get to it. If someone wants the music and cannot afford to pay for some record on eBay for $30, then they should get it from a friend burned on a CDR. It is more about listening to the music and getting the message and feelings that come along with it rather than having some piece of plastic or vinyl wrapped in paper.

Who or what do you consider the main influences on Funeral Diner, both musically and in the way you think about things? Members of the band have also been involved in bands like Nexus 6, Portraits of Past, and Takaru. Did those experiences shape the music and approach of Funeral Diner?

Each of us in the band has different bands that we have drawn from or have influenced us in the way we have gone about things, so I can’t really go into it deeply. I can say that the bands that we are friends with play a big part in what we have done in the past. We always like to tour with bands that we are tight with. Past bands like Takaru, Nexus 6, and Portraits of Past have had an effect on how we think about things; mostly on how we would like to do something different or how we would like to take a different approach to a similar situation. As far as me personally, I always watch other drummers to see what I can pick up. Kaospilot, Gospel, Hoover, Haram, Zann, Universal Order of Armageddon, Drive Like Jehu, Her Little Sister’s Motherless Children, and Maximillian Colby are a few bands in the hardcore scene that have shaped my drumming, though that is not all. Bands like Black Sabbath, Fleetwood Mac, Bauhaus, The Chameleons UK, as well as some of the jazz greats have also added into how I play.

DIY screamo is still not very well known in our country, Bulgaria. Most kids here know screamo through mainstream bands with no message, more about fashion than anything else. What do you think about that, and about the term screamo being taken over by the mass media?

I never really knew it to be called screamo until after the media claimed it, so for all I know, it might be a major media term to begin with. It all used to be called hardcore when we started the band. I don’t really use the term all that often. I’ve told people what we have been classified as and they have no idea what that is. I just end up telling people that I play in some sort of band that is between punk rock and indie rock. I can’t use the term hardcore any more because people then think I am either talking about electronic music, like hardcore trance or gabber, or I am talking about some sort of metal band. All the genre labels have been moved around in the last 10 years or more so things do not mean what they used to.

Emo now means Dashboard Confessional when it used to mean Anasarca. Hardcore means Hatebreed when it used to be Minor Threat. I guess the mass media can have the term screamo at this point. It doesn’t really mean that much to me anyhow. I will just keep telling people I play something in the rock category.

Your lyrics often feel very dark and gloomy, dealing with contradictions and personal conflicts that come from living in a decaying society. Is there a specific political or personal message you want to convey through them?

The lyrics are mostly about messed up situations that arise between people. The Underdark LP was the main one that addressed the whole “society in decline” issue. There is no real set message in the lyrics or blatant statement in the lyrics because we want each person that listens to the music or reads the insert to take away their own meaning. Of course, the lyrics that were written stem from a certain situation and hold something personal to whoever wrote them, but we try to keep them vague so that others that listen can make their own conclusions.

What about the alienation between people today? We meet people every day on the street, on the bus, and everywhere else, but it often feels like we don’t even belong to the same species. People seem to get used to not caring about each other.

My friend Jane told me a story about this just the other day. She was out running on a holiday this last week and was running across the street before the traffic light changed. She was sprinting really fast in order to make it in time, but when she got to the other side she fell and skinned both her knees on the ground, bruised her hip, and scraped her arm. She was laying face up on the pavement bleeding and not one, but 2 separate people stepped over her like she was a piece of trash covering the sidewalk. They didn’t walk around her, they stepped right over her. It was so absurd that I laughed. I would like to think that caring about strangers is not something that is totally dead, but with the way that society is going it is hard not to blame people. Just look at the amount of people who get mugged, molested, murdered, or raped by someone that claims to be in trouble only to turn the tables and make the savior the victim.

I have had this happen to me. It was hard to open my feelings back up to a person’s plight that I didn’t know. How many times will a person begging for money really need food rather than drugs? How many times will you give a panhandler money who is “homeless and hungry” when you are thinking in the back of your mind that they are really headed straight to the liquor store for a bottle? You really have to choose where and when you help people. I still go out of my way to help people that I can. I will ask elderly ladies if they need help with groceries, I will open doors for people, I will help someone that I know is in need, and I will try to take care of those that are in trouble. I would hope that when others see my actions they would get motivated to do the same. It is something that I like to believe is contagious or inspiring for others. It is easier to become complacent or apathetic, but when you help someone there is satisfaction. You don’t really get satisfaction from stepping over a bleeding person in the street.

Bored and exhausted, trapped in a consumerist state of mind, we live inside a system that feels impossible to escape. Is there still some existential hope that keeps us fighting? Do you still believe we can make a difference?

Whether it would be through music or any other way, I think we can make a difference. You can’t walk around thinking that you are going to change the world, but you can change little things about yourself that will help. It is all a matter of training yourself to think differently. I rarely watch television or movies. I know my time and money can go towards something else. I would rather spend money on food, on dancing, or on part of a plane ticket to somewhere awesome. You just have to think, “Do I want this hoodie that looks cool, which I don’t really need, or do I want to get to Japan and travel around?” I would rather go to Japan. As far as making a difference in the world around us, all we have to do is take a little time every day and do what we can.

Volunteering at different nonprofit organizations is a good way to help others, but if you don’t have time for that, then find something you do have time for. Or the next time you see someone in trouble and in need of help, rise above your fear and try your best to help them. If everyone did, then things would not be so bad. I am not saying I am perfect. I have my moments of selfishness or apathy, but keeping it in mind to help others is a good first step to action.

Do you think the main problem lies in society and the social system itself, or in us too? Maybe it is not only the system, but also our own way of thinking.

I think it is a little bit of both. Television and movies portray violence a lot. The newscasts talk more about maladies rather than the good parts of society. The woes of the human condition are what get ratings for television networks. This in turn leads to a condition called “The Mean World Syndrome”, in which people become afraid of the world they live in. They are fearful to go out or to help others for the fact that they may fall victim to the calamities that they’ve seen on television. Mixed with that is the fact that humans are self-serving by nature. It probably stems from Herbert Spencer’s term, “survival of the fittest”. Why help someone else get better when it is going to interfere with your struggle for dominance or survival? I know that sounds really archaic, but it is just a possible explanation. The fact is that people tend to be selfish, and it takes a lot of effort sometimes to help others. Either way, once you realize what it is that is going on, then you can personally take steps to do something about it.

How do you imagine society 50 years from now? Will we be able to save the planet and ourselves, or are we heading toward self-destruction?

That’s a good one. I have a lot of friends that tell me not even to bother saving for retirement because global warming is going to kill us off before I have a chance to enjoy it. There are some countries that are taking measures to help turn things around, but there are also companies that are trying to make money regardless of what happens 50 years down the road. I can’t really say. I do have a hunch that we are going to have to hit rock bottom at some point before we learn our lesson, at which point it might be too late to turn it around.

Are you vegetarian or vegan? How do you approach animal rights, and how important is that issue to you personally?

Funeral Diner has two vegans, two vegetarians, and one omnivore. Animal rights are important to each of us in a different way, but we respect the fact that other people do not want to hear you preach to them about it. We tend to help make a difference in each of our own ways. In the band we each respect the other’s food choices without lecture. Outside of the band we each do what we can. Most of the time it is in the choices to go to a certain place to eat or buy a certain product. Even if that place or product has a vegan piece of clothing or food item, you can always put your money towards something a bit more beneficial to the cause. In some cities it is easier to do this than others, but you have to take the good with the bad.

What do you think about the importance of love in human life?

Everyone needs to be loved. Without that, life can seem pretty pointless. Why stack up accomplishments when there is no one to share them with? The real hard part about love is the whole game of finding and losing it. It’s a tough journey going through life finding and losing love, but you have to keep in mind that it will always be there even if it changes from person to person.

What are your plans after the breakup of Funeral Diner? Are you playing in any other bands at the moment or working on any upcoming projects?

Everyone is already doing something new in terms of music. Dave and I started a new band with a long name. Let’s say the name is …Who Calls So Loud for the sake of having to write it all out. Seth is in a band called Sterling Says. Ben is in a psychedelic dance band called Lemonade. Dan is currently working on some solo stuff, though I will help him with drums when the time comes. We are brothers after all. I am not sure about the future plans of the other guys, but I know Dave and I plan on touring for 6 and a half months this coming April if we get it all planned out properly. It would be another long world tour type thing where we try to go to some new countries and see new things. We have done the US, Europe, and Japan, but this time around we want to try and hit some Southern Asian countries, Australia, and maybe some places in South America.

A few final words to close this interview?

This interview is mainly my own personal opinion, so keep that in mind after having read it. I know the band would like to say thank you to everyone and anyone that has ever taken part in helping us out with shows, records, food, merchandise, or anything along the way. From the people that we work with to get stuff put out all the way down to anyone that has given us words of encouragement at shows or through email. I would like to say thank you for wanting to interview us even though our band has fallen by the wayside. Beyond that, just do what you can to make little changes every day to make yourself and the world around you a better place.